


5 Times Someone Thought They Were A Couple, And 1 Time They Actually Were

by kam



Series: 5 Times Someone Thought They Were A Couple, And 1 Time They Actually Were [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-30
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-10 01:01:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/779969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kam/pseuds/kam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short Johnlock written for the BBC Kink Meme Prompt:<br/>I really love how close Sherlock and John are in the show, and I was wondering if anyone could write a fic with the two of them just being bromantic.</p><p>(i.e. forehead-to-forehead tempurature checking, eating off of eachothers plates, ect.)</p><p>Maybe a 5 +1? 5 times someone thought Sherlock and John were a couple and one time they really were? FLUUUUUUFF.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lestrade

“Sherlock, give it back!”

“No. You incessantly complain that I do not eat enough.”

“But it’s mine!”

“Immaterial. Sacrifices must be made for the greater good.”

“How is you eating my sushi the greater good?”

“I require nourishment in order to continue my great and noble work.”

“You bloody twat, give it back!”

Lestrade poked his head around the corner just as a loud crash sounded. John had knocked Sherlock’s chair backwards and was straddling his hips, pinning one wrist to the floor.

“Give. It. To. Me.”

Sherlock smirked in response and used his free hand to bring the sushi to his lips. With a growl, John leaned down, mouth opening and closing around Sherlock’s fingers. Sherlock made a displeased noise, and John grinned, swiping his tongue across Sherlock’s jaw to get a bit of soy sauce.

“You ought to know better by now.”

With a heavy sigh, Lestrade leaned back against the wall. He supposed he’d known, really.

“Right, get off of me. I need to eat _something_ , it’s been long enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooc?  
> ooc.  
> because fvck it.  
> that's why.


	2. Molly

“Sherlock, you don’t look well.”

“Brilliant observation, John, how _do_ you do it?”

“Right, c’mere.”

Molly glanced up from her microscope just in time to see John lean forward and press his lips to Sherlock’s forehead.

“You’re burning up. Christ, you need to go home. You should be in bed.”

“Absolutely not. There’s nothing to do in bed. It’s dull.”

“That’s debatable,”

John grinned and tugged Sherlock up by his arm.

“Come on, you. Let’s get you home.”

“If I agree to go home, will you stay here and complete the experiment?”

“Of course not. I’m not leaving you all alone when you’re ill.”

“Mrs. Hudson…”

“Is not our housekeeper, and certainly not our nurse. I’ll be taking care of you, thank you very much.”

“You’re a dear.”

“And you’re delirious. Come on.”

Molly’s cheeks were still pink when Lestrade came in twenty minutes later, and she couldn’t help but stammer as she explained that John had taken Sherlock home to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly more in character today.  
> but, like.  
> honestly.  
> i'm just over here,  
> super-busy not giving a fvck.


	3. Donovan & Anderson

“Your shivering is distracting.”

“You pulled me out of the flat before I had a chance to grab my coat.”

“I gave you ample warning that we were…”

“You told me five minutes before we were leaving.”

“Which should be plenty of…”

“I was asleep.”

With a huff, Sherlock briskly undid the buttons and slipped his arms from his greatcoat, pulling it off and wrapping it around John.

“Better?”

“Much, ta,”

John pulled the coat tight around himself, and Sherlock returned to the dead body.

“You’re not cold?”

“It does not bother me.”

“Sherlock…”

“It’s more important that you’re warm.”

“It’s not…”

“It is to me.”

Donovan and Anderson exchanged disgusted glances, and Sherlock jumped up suddenly.

“Oh! John, you’re brilliant!”

He cupped John’s face in his hands, grinning down at him.

“Absolutely brilliant!”

John grinned and pulled the coat a bit closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man, everyone loves these things.  
> i better make this one super funny.
> 
>  
> 
> fvck.


	4. Mycroft

Mycroft fancied himself prepared for any contingency. It was his job, after all, to be so. But he was _not_ prepared to enter 221B and find John chasing Sherlock about the main room.

“You’re done this time, Holmes!”

“You’ll never take me alive!”

John relatively quickly disproved this by leaping off the sofa and tackling Sherlock. Sherlock rolled the two of them over several times, ending up on top of John.

“You will always remember this as the day you _almost_ caught Sherlock Holmes,”

he informed John, who struggled against the weight on his hips and wrists. Mycroft, who was prepared for anything and everything, could think of nothing to do but turn and leave the flat. As he picked his way down the steps, he heard muffled words, but dismissed them as… Not something he necessarily wanted to hear.

“You do realize that drinking rum and quoting a movie doesn’t make you a pirate, right?”

“I’ll hear nothing more from you, sea-dog. To the brig you go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i mean.  
> if i'm going to make them ooc,  
> i might as well make them REALLY ooc.  
> right?  
> right.


	5. Mrs. Hudson

“John.”

 

“John.”

 

“JOHN.”

“What?!”

“There is a distinct and somewhat unavoidable danger in our immediate path.”

“Sherlock, those are the steps.”

“Precisely.”

 

“What are we going to do?”

“How do you mean?”

“I’m relatively certain I cannot ascend at the required angle at present.”

“You can’t walk up them, you mean?”

“Precisely.”

 

“John. This is a horrible idea, John.”

“Then what do _you_ propose, Mr. Genius Consulting Detective?”

“Um. Not this. Because this is a horrible idea.”

“Just shut up and hold on.”

 

“Sherlock, I said _hold on_!”

“I did.”

 

When Mrs. Hudson came out of 221A, she was immediately met with the sight of John and Sherlock, tangled together at the bottom of the steps. Sherlock was lying on his back, head on the first step, with John half on top of him, chin resting solidly on Sherlock’s chest, arms wrapped around his middle. Their legs were looped together, and John’s shoes were off. Mrs. Hudson sighed deeply and went back inside to get a blanket before going out for the paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i will never not write john and sherlock drunk.


	6. NOT THE LAST CHAPTER

This is not a chapter.

There's no Johnlock in this.

Or sex.

Which there will be.

This is just so you know I haven't abandoned the story.

At all.

It's just.

First I was trapped in finals.

Then I had writer's block.

Then I was out of town.

Then my computer didn't work.

Then I was locked out of my apartment for like a month

-it was really like 8 hours-

But seriously, you guys, it was forever.

And that was when I was going to write it.

So now I'm hoping to get it done today.

But no promises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll delete this later  
> once the porn is ready.


	7. One Time They Were

John woke himself up by rolling off of Sherlock and banging his head against the step. Almost before the first curse could leave his lips, he found himself surrounded by Sherlock, all long arms and sharp angles and warm breath against John’s neck. John was caught halfway between slightly-drunk and badly-hung-over, and all in all this seemed like a brilliant idea, lying at the bottom of the steps with Sherlock. Sherlock, of course, had to ruin this brilliant plan of John’s, by waking up.

 

“John?”

“Yes.”

“Cuddling?”

“Right. Sorry.”

“For?”

 

“We should probably go upstairs.”

“I believe I can manage that. My system seems to have mostly processed the alcohol.”

“Right. Good, then.”

“Would.”

“Hmm?”

“Would you be amenable to. Continuing. Upstairs. At home.”

“Continuing… Yeah. Yeah, I suppose I would.”

“Right. Good, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, um.  
> like,  
> do you guys actually even care about porn?  
> cause i can leave it here,  
> all cutesy and shit.  
> if you guys don't care.  
> whatever,  
> i need more wine.


	8. ALSO NOT THE LAST CHAPTER

I'm working on the porn.  
But I rather like the ending I put in.  
So the porn is getting its own posting.  
Sort of like with the Honey story.  
So.  
It's there, if you want it.  
And if not.  
They totally just snuggled each other forever.  
And maybe kissed a couple times.  
Or like.  
Had tea.  
Whatever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically.  
> you have three choices.  
> stick with the ending i wrote here.  
> make up your own.  
> or go read the other one i wrote.  
> am writing.  
> will have written.  
> ...  
> WELL TIME FOR MORE WINE AGAIN.


End file.
